Cunk On Everything by Philomena Cunk

Cunk on Everything: The Encyclopedia Philomena by Jason A. Hazeley
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Her dead pan delivery on TV is part of her charm, which is missing in this book.
Malapropisms litter the text

Age of Shivery for Chivalry; Marriage of Fig Roll for Figaro; Bionic Plague for bubonic plague; sellington for skeleton; and operating cistern for system

they do get a quite a bore eventually. Even extracts such as

Ducks are the only fish who swim on the top part of the water. They are also the only fish with feathers. You might think swans would count, but swans are not fish, like ducks, they’re sort of big boil-washed pigeons. Ducks can also be eaten by anyone, unlike swans, who can only be eaten by the Queen.

Occasional satire keeps the book going. The following is sadly and bitterly true

At the beginning of the 20th century, there were around 100,000 tigers in the wild, but that number has fallen to 3,000 because tigers are really dangerous and if you’ve got 100,000 of them wandering about, something has to be done. It’s a real success story for the human race.
But if they’re wrong and climate change is happening, we face the nightmare scenario that our children may never see a rainbow. Except in a zoo.

Outrageous statement like this are not funny, just laboured attempts at humour

The only people who bury stuff these days, rally, are dogs. Maybe this is proof that the people of the past used to be dogs. If we keep digging, we may find that crucial piece of evidence that proves that everyone in the past was a dog. Maybe somewhere, under the ground, are loads of bones. But sadly, until someone digs up an old bone, this thing about everyone being a dog in the olden days will have to stay nothing but a theory. Science is a harsh mistress.
(Freud) invented an explanation for why women mental, which he called penis envy. This was even worse than the Oedipus one, because it was based on the idea that women dig around in their pants at some point and get cross that someone’s nicked their wanger. It’s the sort of idea that tell you more about Freud than anybody else, but what can you expect from a man who wanted to hump his mum?

After a bit, it gets tiresome and not funny. A bit of a let-down!

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